** 日子难熬！**

人就是活在痛苦与绝望当中。现在的我连不开心的权利都没有了。这样的人生会开心吗？

可能结束是好的。是为了迎接更美好的开始。是吗？我是在自我安慰吗？

我变得伤感，
我变得惆怅，
我变得消沉，
我变得不快乐。

这是真正的我吗？
从前的我哪去了？
已经死了吗？
我想是的，从前的我已烟消云散，一去不复返！
现在的我，心已死。剩下的只有躯壳。

** Nobody understands!!! **

I really felt the heart-pain. I dun care if others dun understand me and what I'm gg through. But even my loved one wouldn't care less how much I feel.

What I got is hurting remarks and asking me to go and die.

Yes, I'm really unhappy and really wish to die sometimes. As I grow older, I'm beginning to dread living. People always say I must give thanks cos there are many unfortunate people around me. I understand, I'm not complaining about life. I just want to rest, is it so difficult???

Ok, serve me right for not having savings ever since I started working like 10years ago. So now, I want to stop working, I can't. I fully understand as I have family commitment blar blar blar. I didn't say and NEVER SAY I dun wanna work.

I just need a break. A break from working like an ox from 9-5.
Why must I get a job now? Why can't I quit first and take my time to find one?

I know there are many considerations and plans, but why can't we shelve some plans till we are more comfortable financially before plonking into doing something so hurriedly?

What's the hurry? What's wrong with staying in our 3-room flat for the time being? What's the urgency of selling our house and get another one so soon??? What's all these?

Why do I have to make all the sacrifices just for the whole household???? It's just so unfair. I'm so sick of everything. Just so sick!!!

So sick of dragging myself to work.
So sick of making myself look incompetent at work when actually I'm not.
So sick of doing things for the sake of money when I'm not happy at all.
So sick of waking up every morning, dreading to put myself to another day of torture.

That's life, that's my pathetic, unsympathetic life. :(